I’m So Tired and That’s SO Boring.
It’s been a minute since I’ve written anything here. It’s been a minute since I’ve had a day to breathe, and relax, and find space to be still. This summer has been a whirlwind of adventure, and it’s been so, so good. I’ve been starting new projects, sleeping too little, drinking too much coffee, and finding new edges to explore. The usual… Anyway, I recently made the decision to stop telling people that I’m tired. I mean, who wants to hear that. I know I’m busy, but when someone asks how I am, it’s kind of a bullshit answer.
So, I have two options:
Even if I am tired, I can come up with another more authentic expression to describe the other areas of my life
I can stop being tired and sleep more, which will allow me to come up with another more authentic expression to describe my life. Ha.
Here’s a few things I’ve noticed since making this decision.
- Mantras Make a Difference: They say that positive mantras lead to transformation; well similarly, negative mantras can leave you stagnant. It’s easy to respond that I’m tired. It’s a lazy way to reply, but it’s almost always accurate. Here’s the kicker, the more I engrain that train of thought into my brain, the more I accept it. If I tell myself it’s okay to always be tired, it gives me the permission to act sleepy and lethargic. It allows me to buy into the laziness of it all. Why would I want to repeat that I’m exhausted day in and day out, when I’m being given the opportunity to express that I am so many other things (amazing, relaxed, splendid, really freaking good, a little bit irritated, sore, amused, horrible, inspired, strong, there are so many options!)
- Old Habits Die Hard: There were times when I could feel the “I’m tired” response tumbling off my lips, even when I’ve had enough sleep, or something more prominent is as the forefront of my mind. It’s hard to mix things up a bit, and auto responses aren’t authentic or accurate depictions of my life. I’m not sure about you, but I often hear the same responses over and over again, the “I’m good” or “I’m fine”, even when people clearly aren’t. I challenge you to be a little bit more honest with your next response. Take a minute to think about how you’re feeling, rather than word vomiting some that is insincere. People appreciate honesty, so you might as well give it to them.
- Sometimes I Just Need More Downtime: There’s no getting around it, sometimes I just need more sleep and downtime. There’s no amount of coffee to keep me awake and thriving, and unfortunately I can’t make a 28-hour day happen IRL. So, that means I need to spend more time with myself. I need to disconnect from my slightly chaotic, but mostly amazing life, and I need to breathe. I need to yoga, art, and journal. I need to look inward, so I can find the best version of myself and encourage others to do the same.
So, while sometimes I’m tired, there’s so much more to me than that. I’m not a boring person, so why am I giving boring responses. I strive to live an authentic, inspiring life. I don’t want to live on autopilot, and I don’t want words I don’t mean to come tumbling out of my mouth. It’s time to be less boring, and more honest… it’s time to wake up.