Improvement is Intentional || What I’ve Been Doing to Make My Life Better.
Summers are for having fun, and working hard. They’re about making home improvements, career improvements, and self improvements. They’re about intention, and they’re a time when I thrive. I may be a moonchild (check my horoscope, super legit), but when the sun is shining, my energy is high, and people are social (translation, I gain energy from others). They are a time for transition, change, new friendships, adventures, and risks. Summers are about stepping out of your comfort zone and into something that may scare you a little bit, but only in the best way possible. They’re for that exhilarating feeling of diving into a crashing wave, or running as fast as your legs will carry you. They’re about growth.
Or at least that’s how summers are for me… or at least how this summer has been for me thus far.
I’ve been thinking a lot about change lately. What it means, what it implies, and what my ideals about life once where. At one point I thought I’d be married to my high school boyfriend by now, probably with a kid or two. I wonder how and why my life veered off the path (s) I once imagined I wanted (sorry PhD program, maybe another time), and what steps got me to where I currently am– which is a really good place to be. Earlier this year I was in a rut and I realized that the only way out of that rut was to make some changes. Change fucking scares me, but for once I decided to throw caution to the wind and go for it. If I wasn’t happy with where I was at, what was the harm in trying? I decided to start bettering myself in the areas of my life that I thought were lacking. I knew that I had more potential than I was reaching, but I didn’t know where to begin, or how to grasp it. It was like trying to clench on to jell-o, it was there, but a little awkward and squishy and I couldn’t really hang onto it.
I made an intentional decision to educated myself towards growth because stagnation was boring me. It was like your monotonous teacher repeating the same lecture over and over, you just didn’t want to sit there anymore. Instead, I started saying yes to opportunities, and I began to take some risks. When the resources I needed weren’t there, I created them. Scary, but logical. Right? Things started falling into place. Was it easy? Heck no. In fact, it was a lot of hard freaking work. There were many early mornings and late nights teaching myself, taking online courses, and collaborating with friends. It’s been about putting myself out there and believing in myself. If I don’t believe in myself, why would I expect other people to?
So that’s what I’m doing. I’m believing in myself. I’m taking myself seriously, and somehow other people are too. While change is inevitable, improvement is intentional. When you find yourself in a rut, take a deep breathe and find the good. Then work towards it. It might take a lot of searching and time and patience, but guess what, you have all the time you need.